Wait, what.

Dozens upon dozens off people basically throwing themselves down...

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 05:30:08 -0400

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1761687

Dozens upon dozens off people basically throwing themselves down a hill. Fucking yes?

I want to do this.

"What have I done to deserve love? asks the humble lover… What have I done to be denied love?..."

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 00:59:00 -0400

“What have I done to deserve love? asks the humble lover… What have I done to be denied love? protests the betrayed one… To both questions, the one who hands out love can only reply, Because you are you,— an answer that swings the beloved dangerously and unpredictably between grandiosity and depression.”

- — Alain de Botton

(via meaghano)

The past tense of the phrase “Glow in the dark” is not “Glue in the darked”....

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:18:15 -0400

The past tense of the phrase “Glow in the dark” is not “Glue in the darked”. I don’t know why I thought it would be ok to pretend it was during conversation.

I suddenly just remembered that time I got into a straight up argument with a homeless man about...

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 20:31:00 -0400

I suddenly just remembered that time I got into a straight up argument with a homeless man about whales when I was 16. He was collecting money for whales, but he was homeless and the sign was homemade so I think whales is code for cheap whiskey.

Am I alone in thinking that Ryan North, creator of Dinosaur...

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 20:16:32 -0400

Am I alone in thinking that Ryan North, creator of Dinosaur Comics, is totally this handsome, nerdy devil?

I want to pet his hair. As well as other parts of him.

So.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 01:25:25 -0400

yellowzebra:

Have you ever missed someone that you kinda really really really wish you didn’t miss as much as you do? Like you were hoping time away from that person would make you feel differently? But you just feel exactly the same and you know that they just don’t quite miss you as much as you miss them? And pretty much that’s why you don’t want to miss them, but you do. A lot.

This being as nondescript as possible, of course, and not saying I feel this at all.

But I am an idiot when it comes to feelings.

And beer and exhaustion makes you say stupid things on the internet.

I’ve yet to meet a single person who isn’t an idiot when it comes to feelings and emotions and all of that other annoying stuff. You ain’t alone kaiPow, not that that makes it feel any better/ache any less…

PS, anyone who doesn’t miss you doesn’t deserve you.

I love good beards.

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:36:04 -0400

I love good beards.

I entered the computer room where the desktop and router are to see what was up as my laptop...

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 09:58:15 -0400

I entered the computer room where the desktop and router are to see what was up as my laptop couldn’t find a connection to the Internet.

Sitting behind the desk is my mother. The only thing more startling than seeing my mother actually using a computer was the look on her face. Something awful had just happened, her face contorted in a mix of anger and bewilderment. My grandmother died? Terrorist attack? My grandmother led a terrorist attack?

“Your father clicked on a porn site and now the computer has a virus. Look at this - 64 viruses so far.”

“Ugh, what? Don’t say that to me.”

“That’s why he’s been getting up so early for work, to look at porn when everyone’s sleeping - 448 viruses!”

“What the hell, stop.”

“1,241 viruses found! WHAT IS THIS, IS THIS POSSIBLE?”

Cutest grandmother.

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 02:22:53 -0400

Cutest grandmother.

I can’t believe how high my expectations were for The Dark Knight and how far the movie...

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 01:34:29 -0400

I can’t believe how high my expectations were for The Dark Knight and how far the movie actually surpassed those expectations?

I basically hate all summer blockbuster movies. I don’t MEAN to, I’m not that annoying person who hates stuff just because everyone else likes it, it just so happens that action movies make me space out and wonder why I paid $10 to sit in a room that’s too cold for so long that my ass hurts.

I only spaced out ONCE during TDK. Do you know how often I space out during most movies? So often.

kattt: (via scout) Oh my goodness. For an ENTIRE YEAR I have...

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 02:30:04 -0400

kattt:

(via scout)

Oh my goodness. For an ENTIRE YEAR I have been insisting to anyone who will listen that Dachshunds wearing glasses look like Woody Allen! I mostly referenced a picture of a Dachshund where I drew glasses on his face with MS Paint.

Guys, if that Dachshund didn’t have a chubby puppy face and wasn’t wearing WIRE FRAMED glasses, you would all suddenly realize my genius.

Margaret Atwood, she could not stop me Virginia Woolf, she could...

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 01:39:00 -0400

Margaret Atwood, she could not stop me
Virginia Woolf, she could not stop me
The truth is I wanted to go
It is all I know, it is all I know

Sweet, sweet forever
I’ll comfort myself in my next life

Regina Spektor - Paris

(It cuts out early? Blame tumblr, I am.)

I know that this is both morally and logically unsound, but the thought of an evil midget terrifies...

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0400

I know that this is both morally and logically unsound, but the thought of an evil midget terrifies me so much more than the thought of an evil 5’ 10” man.

By the way, I still remember the first time I saw a little person. I was 4 and no one had gone over the fact that they are real people with me, I had only seen them in movies and assumed that they were make believe, just like every dragon and unicorn. After I saw that first one in Maine two thoughts ran through my head

1) Holy shit, my parents are lying to me, they’re lying. Dragons and monsters are fucking real.

and

2) Maine is home to both the Ostrich Farm and mythical creatures?

Since then I’m proud to say that I’ve wised up and also briefly befriended a girl with dwarfism during my first year of college. So. You know… progress or some shit.

My manager and assistant manager have been fighting for the past 4 months and things have never been...

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:42:00 -0400

My manager and assistant manager have been fighting for the past 4 months and things have never been going better for me at work.

I’m pretty sure my boss is trying to get me on her “side”, what with the drunken phone calls, punching me in several hours early and saying I can come in late.

Today I was suppose to be in at one. It’s 2:44! I’ve been punched in for over an hour, you guys! I’ve been punched in and I’m at home and I’m not even wearing pants.

I don’t have to go in until 5. This is the life?

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:18:34 -0400

oooooooo hottttttttttttttttttt.

91 degrees, I don’t even think this is the hottest it’s been this month. It feels more awful. My pink Irish skin is not made for this. I am so sick of getting freckles. My skin is going to look so godawful when I’m 30. EVERYTHING IS AWFUL.

Why can’t this happen to me. Also, Why can’t I meet...

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 18:13:00 -0400

Why can’t this happen to me. Also, Why can’t I meet a young Larry David?

Why is my five year old brother so much cooler than me? This is...

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:21:16 -0400

Why is my five year old brother so much cooler than me?

This is last December. It puts all other Mall Santa photos to absolute shame.

Basketball to the face.

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:17:46 -0400

Basketball to the face.

For the past several weeks I’ve been trying to curb my swearing. Result:...

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 23:34:49 -0400

For the past several weeks I’ve been trying to curb my swearing.

Result: hahahahahahahhahahaha.

Swearing is here to stay. Sometimes letting out a hearty “MOTHERFUCKER” feels too good, an orgasm from the vocal cords to the lips.

samuelaberman: lomo: Baby elephant Impunga sits up on his big...

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 22:15:36 -0400

samuelaberman:

lomo:

Baby elephant Impunga sits up on his big brother Vus’musi, they are best friends. (via kjdrill)