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I think Mary Kate Olson might just be wearing fur specifically to piss PETA off at this point.
Because, COME ON.
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Why does it bug me when people list that they like Bob Dylan on Myspace/Facebook/Whatevs?
Everyone likes Bob Dylan. Stop it.
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scuze me? is you sayin somethin?
nuh uh you can’t tell me nuthin
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Depending on my mood and estrogen levels I have two thoughts that consume my entire mind, body and soul while watching Jon and Kate Plus 8:
1. Jesus Christ, thank god I am young with a womb that has never seen a fetus or eight. Ugh.
2. I want that. Why can’t I have that. I just want 8 half-Korean babies running around me all of the time. Oh my god, I need to start a family with a rich man.
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This summer I have a definite day trip planned for New York with a couple friends, POSSIBLE plans for Canada with at least one friend, PROBABLE plans for California, and if I can get a flight cheap enough I am going to visit Ky in Oregon!
HELLO, SUMMER ‘08.
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Often when we get new dogs in at work there is at least one puppy that is so goddamn cute, so fucking precious, that the only thing I can do is mock shake it in the air and say “Shakkkkeeeennn puppppy syndrome” in a baby voice. I don’t know why. Something about fake injuring a puppy while making fun of a really sad syndrome that happens with babies is sort of fun?
Anyways, yesterday when this happened a cop looked at me and wouldn’t stop looking at me until I ran away into the backroom until he left.
I’m just going to pretend he couldn’t stop looking at me because of my CHARM AND WIT, rather than my INSENSITIVITY AND FUCKING AWFULNESS.
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I don’t understand why Maria Bamford isn’t the most famous woman in America right now. She is incredible and I wish there was a way you could take an egg and an egg and make a fetus because I want to have children with her.
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How 10 Well-Known Beverages Got Their Names
Squirt – So-named because it “Squirts” in your mouth like a ripe grapefruit.
Squirt was my nickname until about age 10 (when I grew from cheeky child to selfish bitch). I have never been able to figure out WHY this is embarrassing, but it clearly is.
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LAST DAY OF CLASSES OMG.
After, just three finals on Monday (THE FUCK) and one on Thursday. Sweet Jesus, I smell freedom.